They went to school but never came back.

I was as usual in a state of bliss. That omnipotent feeling like duh, nothing can possibly go wrong with me. Nothing that life throws at me can stir me I am living happily in the paradise of oblivion I created. People are killed? Oh that's pretty normal. People are killed everyday. That place had a traffic accident? Who cares, driver should be blamed. Not my fault. Not my business. Terrorist are going to attack again? Oh a minute of worry. Than its shrugged off. After all , I am living in a big city. They wont attack here. WHY CARE FOR OTHERS? Why affect our own lives for them, after all I am a cursed observer who wont ever be victimized or so I believed .
Anyway, cold and jinxed as I may be, somewhere deep down I still cared, I still had the capability to feel the pain of others. And that I discovered today, on 16th December 2014 even a person like me couldn't stop her tears. The tragedy that has befallen us cannot be described in words.
Imagine yourself as 15 year old all set for school tomorrow, not really excited for yet another casual ordinary school day. Standing in auditorium , trying to keep yourself awake. Stifling your yawns, rubbing your eyes, trying your best to focus on the instructor giving CPR demonstration. Wondering when will the bell ring and you will be free from this boring demonstration. you have little idea that instead of school bell you will hear something else, something much more ominous, .. call of death.
out of nowhere comes a rainfall of bullets, all you hear is rifle firing. Blood splattering, confusion and fear. your mind is boggled. the seemingly typical dull school is now showing a battle zone, a one sided battle zone more like predator zone. where you are being preyed on, Your instructor yells *lay low* you quickly slide down. Covering your ears with your hands. Shivering and praying to live. you are too frightened to fantasize about dimming future of your fazed dreams. here's the climax, story doesn't end here, the door opens, you looks up wondering if its some savoir, some deliverer , surely, this cant be the end, But standing in front of you is a masked man with a heavy gun who approaches the boy nearest to the door without saying anything like a grim reaper creeping up on you  sneakily ready to condemn you to hell where you rightfully belong. As if to prove you right, he  aims for the trembling boy's head and fires. Sadly ,this is your last memory before dying the same way. your dreams, your aims , your very existence wiped off in the most heart rending manner possible.
This is no story. This is the truth. This is what happened in Peshawar Pakistan. Many children went to school to enjoy an ordinary day on 16th December but they never came back... they were massacred , killed and murdered in the worst manner possible by the hands of terrorists. people say it's an act of sheer cowardice and you couldn't condemn them enough but is this enough? what is our part in all this considering the fact that we are living on the same planet? is crying going to help those kids(R.I.P.)? 
Who is accountable for the massacre? Who is supposed to act as a deliverer? Will we be victimized forever? Is this life? This terror? This forlornness? This helplessness? Is this our future? Are we not allowed to hope? To dream? 

And what about those who survived? Will they ever be able to live a normal life? Should I call them fortunate? Who will answer all this?

the monster who lost the feel

Empty heart, abysmal ignorance, amicable pretence

This is my asylum, my atrocious contempt

Alluring roses, the charisma of nature, the merriment

As in my cadaverous state, it all seems to end in obliteration

Shunned by my human self, I annihilated the kind in me

Now merely a shadow, death itself abdicates me

Ambition, purpose and desire, my forgotten entities

Extinction, despair and dejection, now my only destiny

Lost as I was, no one to look to, left at abattoir

To be punctured and gashed, but I refused to break

I didn't cry, I never smiled, I forgot to die

I turned into a monster as I am now

My wounds still gaunt but abraded

 I was forced to bled but didn't weep

I was stabbed to shreds but didn't feel

I was killed to extinction but didn't die

After all I am a monster who lost the feel